An Interview with the Man from Indepence

The heavenly aura filled the room, ebbing and flowing like some half forgotten body of water in man's memory. The lights were very bright, but this did not seem to bother the girl at the desk. No, it appeared as if nothing would perturb her. In fact, a fall from Grace could take place right before her eyes and still not one stroke of her filing would be lacking. She sat there, cool and tranquil, chewing her gum.

I on the other hand sat sweaty palm in sweaty palm, staring at the ground. Too scared to move, to scared to speak. The grandfather clock ticked away...something, I'm not sure what the need for a grandfather clock is, but it looked nice.

"Excuse me Gloria?," I said, summoning all the courage I had to speak with. "Could you hurry him up? I've got things to do, and I'm not used to the time zone shift yet. Jet lag is still hanging on."

The secretary looked up at me with the speed of a cow during milking, and said in a most unearthly nasal voice, "Why don't you start walking, by the time you get there, he should be ready."

I agreed.

"When he's ready for you, his door will turn from red to green."

"Like the signs on a airplane bathroom" I offered to lighten the mood. The only light was a lightning bolt and low rumbles of thunder. Nervous chuckles were responded to with demeaning chuckles behind the receptionist's desk.

Two enormous gateways opened their masses toward us, reavealing a grand stairway.

"Is this the...uh..?" I enquired. Two apathetic head nods were the only reply I recieved.

I started up the steps, and simeltaneously began to think. And judging by the size of the stairway, I had plenty of time to think.

How would I approach him? Cordially of course, but with determination. I had to be completely frank in all my motions. Surely he would respond to this. After all, he never let anybody slip under his radar. If I was honest and frank and to the point, this was sure to gain me a more favorable recpetion.

Behave like a gentleman, and be sure to avoid topics like Douglass Macarthur, Frank Lloyd Wright and Joseph McCarthy. These hotpoint should sbe avoided at all cost, or it may cost all...I like that, think I'll tell him that.

To be sure, honesty would be a big part of my succsess. He knew the difference between a truth and a lie. As simple as that may seem, he has it down to an art. There would be no buffaloing this guy.

And number one on my list of things to avoid: autographs! This would screw up everything rather royally. It would show me in an insincere light, which would ruin everthing. This mission is too important for that. No autographs. Ever.

"Man, this taking an eternity!" I bemoaned. At that instant, the stair started to move. "Thanks" I offered the entity in charge of the stairs. I wonder what Led Zeppelin would thinnk of this.

The doors to his office were huge. I stood in amzement and awe at the beautiful engravings. Soon, I was to enter these doors. Was I prepared? What if I goofed up? Woul I get a second.....?

My thoughts were interrupted by the silent creaking of the doors gliding effortessly apart, revealing something beyond all imagination. The room was the oval office, only ten times more grand than anything earth could ever offer. I stood in awe of its beauty, in spite of the fact that my visibility was limited.

Even though it was hard to see, I saw his figure at the desk. Before I knew it, I was greeted by a hand. Not a particularily welcoming hand, but one that assured me I would be honored here.

"I thank you for recieveing me sir, you're very kind." I criticized every word I said, just waiting to mess up.

"What can I do for you" the kindly yet firm voice intoned.

Do for me? Why you've done enough for forty men. You're the one who through your handling of the Macarthur incident, showed me that patience wins out after all. You also showed me that it is essential to stand behind my convictions. Without them, I'm nothing. You showed me how to handle myself when I'm thrown into something I don't want to do. To the best of my ability. You showed me that the Bible is a beautiful book of poetry, because it is the Word of God. You showed us how a vessel to be used by God could give His people back their dignity and their nation. You showed how sometimes things need to end with a bang.....

But these thoughts never materialized in the factory bewteen my brain and my mouth. They just sat there in backstock, waiting....

Silence.

"Can I have your autograph? Sir?"

More silence.