When you realized you are old....

Describe a time when you realized that you were old. I have often wondered if there was a definite time in my life when I did feel that shiver up my spine from the realization that life would never be the same. My mind races in the quest for that moment that my mind took a huge paradigm shift, and suddenly I find a different soul inhabiting my body. But alas, I fail to call to mind that magic moment. All my searching appears to be in vain.

Perhaps I am searching in the wrong direction. Maybe my quest has been a noble one; I have just been misguided in the process of looking. Yes, I do believe that the moment when we all realize that our childhood days are done is a quiet one. No bells, no lighting, no angel choirs. No, just a twinge of fond remembrance for what was remains.

It happened to me when I bought the first season of The Muppet Show some years back. I love the Muppets; no one can make me laugh so effortlessly as Jim Henson’s band of furry merrymakers can. Seeing them again on DVD brought back many fond memories, but one episode caught me off guard. I was sitting on my couch; my eyes affixed to the screen as Vincent Price interacted with Kermit, and realized that I had seen this episode before. Sometime in my past, I had been that child sitting in front of the television, laughing away at the antics being acted out on screen. I could hear the laughter and enjoyment resonate through the air, like a thin, sharp whistle going off far away. The smile on this young lads face brought back bittersweet memories to me. I yearned for those days when I clung to my mother for all my needs. When my dad would take me fishing and I would sleep the majority of the trip. Or when my sisters would dress me up in drag and present the horrific creature to my stunned parents. Well, maybe there are parts I don’t pine for…

But I know those days are over. They are somewhere far away in the past. I am picking up on much more of the humor in The Muppet Show. I am shaving; dating; working through college. Yes, the realization came slowly but surely, I am old, and the responsibilities of age are coming along for the ride.

However, every now and then, I go into overload mode, and begin to meltdown. If things have not reached a crisis stage, I like to clear my mind of all my troubles and responsibilities that have come through this new position in life. I then sit down, watch The Muppet Show, and laugh. And somewhere in the distance I hear that childish giggle, and I see that happy smile that only a five year can get when he sees a green frog puppet talking with Vincent Price. And I rest. I rest knowing that although he is far removed from my present state, he is never too far gone to enjoy life. Yes, he is never too far gone to take a reprieve from life and watch a Muppet Show.